0
100 Days of Me
Posted by Unknown
on
7:18 PM
Today I am starting a new project, a personal project, and I am calling it 100 Days of Me. Since my last post, I have fallen into a bit of a funk. Communications between myself and my partner have been strained at best and it is beginning to worry me. That aside, though, I've been confronted with the fact that I have fallen into an old, unhealthy mindset.
I spoke with my Mom on Sunday about the issues I've been having. Long story short, she told me I needed to love myself. Regardless of what else happened, I needed to learn to love myself because I was putting to much of my happiness into this relationship. It was a pattern I did in many of my relationships, I'm just one of those people that relies on those around me. The more she spoke, though, the more I began to agree that it was not healthy.
So for the next 100 days I'm going to start spending time with me. This period is going to be all about loving myself, practicing honest and nonjudgemental awareness, and learning to find strength from within rather than through my relationships with others. I mean, I don't want to be that guy. That guys is weak, he drains energy from those around him rather than creating a beautiful, two-way relationship. That guy is a vampire, a soul-sucking fiend.
I know the next 100 days are not going to be easy. This is only day one, and I have had plenty of weak moments. My partner has not texted me or called me at all today, and that definitely threw me for a loop. Rather than running to him, begging him to acknowledge me, I decided to sit with that discomfort. Eventually, it led me on here to make my first post. Honestly, I already feel better, but was a little disappointed that one day in and I was already having a bad day. My goal is to treat myself with compassion in these moment and remember this is a time for discovery, love, and growth, not beating myself up. For now, I'm going to meditate and sit with this for a while. I'm excited to see what the next 100 days brings!
Alla prossima, until next time!
I spoke with my Mom on Sunday about the issues I've been having. Long story short, she told me I needed to love myself. Regardless of what else happened, I needed to learn to love myself because I was putting to much of my happiness into this relationship. It was a pattern I did in many of my relationships, I'm just one of those people that relies on those around me. The more she spoke, though, the more I began to agree that it was not healthy.
So for the next 100 days I'm going to start spending time with me. This period is going to be all about loving myself, practicing honest and nonjudgemental awareness, and learning to find strength from within rather than through my relationships with others. I mean, I don't want to be that guy. That guys is weak, he drains energy from those around him rather than creating a beautiful, two-way relationship. That guy is a vampire, a soul-sucking fiend.
I know the next 100 days are not going to be easy. This is only day one, and I have had plenty of weak moments. My partner has not texted me or called me at all today, and that definitely threw me for a loop. Rather than running to him, begging him to acknowledge me, I decided to sit with that discomfort. Eventually, it led me on here to make my first post. Honestly, I already feel better, but was a little disappointed that one day in and I was already having a bad day. My goal is to treat myself with compassion in these moment and remember this is a time for discovery, love, and growth, not beating myself up. For now, I'm going to meditate and sit with this for a while. I'm excited to see what the next 100 days brings!
Alla prossima, until next time!
Post a Comment