How It Ends

My title for this week is in reference to an Andrea Gibson poem by that same title.  The video is here > > > > > > >












Unfortunately, my ending has not ended so well recently.  Made the decision it is really and finally time to disconnect with my partner of the last four and a half years.  I know I have been here before.  I have done this before.  I have said, "never again," before.  But this time things feel very different.

For the first time I truly feel at peace with my decision to be alone.  Not just not being with my ex, but being truly and completely alone.  When I started my "100 Days of Me," or whatever I decided to call it at the time, I think my heart knew where I was going but my mind just was not there yet.  Well, my mind is here now and I am working to truly embrace this.  I am going to spend this time alone, loving me, learning about me, building my own personal relationship with myself.

You see, something I realized was that my relationship has taken away something that I dearly love-the burning fire inside that makes me who I am.  Anyone who has known me for long enough will tell you that I am loud, outspoken, and maybe even a little crazy, but also that I am fiercely passionate about what I believe in.  Lately, though, I have not felt that way, and realizing that is what spurred me to make this change.

I want to feel the flames of passion inside.  I want to feel the excitement that comes with going to a job that you love and knowing that you are making a difference.  I have that, but I have been so disconnected from my experience in that.  It's time to make a change, and I am so ready.

Alla prossima, until next time.