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New Beginning
Posted by Unknown
on
9:25 PM
Definitely decided now is a time to start taking a bit more care of myself and to start expressing how I'm feeling a bit more. I'm in a graduate program that is forcing me to spend a lot more time reflecting than I am entirely comfortable with, so I'm trying to practice a bit. Not going to lie, this is a challenge; I know I have a lot of feelings but I don't often like to own up to them. That involves taking some sort of responsibility, and I'm American dammit, it's everyone else's fault!
No but in all seriousness, I do have a lot of feelings. I sort of feel like that one chick in Mean Girls that just wants to bake cakes and all that. At times I feel incompetent, like I have no business in grad school, others I feel guilty for being here because I feel like I should be at home taking care of my family, and sometimes I feel totally great and just ecstatic about everything. It's really a roller coaster.
I'm totally thankful for this experience though, don't get me wrong. I love that I'm here, I'm so grateful that I am getting this opportunity, and I appreciate that someone saw something in me that I don't necessarily see in myself. (Emo, I know. Haha.) I think I just really need to start being on top of taking care of my whole self. I need to take better care to stay organized. I need to stay on top of my work load. I need to clean regularly and maintain my physical space. I need to work out. I need to take mental health nights and relax, shut down, and work on myself. I was doing really well with this at the end of my undergrad career, and for some reason I let that sort of go when I moved and started grad school. Just got to get myself back there.
Anyway, I think it's time for me to go to bed for now. It's late, I just felt like I really wanted to get started blogging again and I couldn't wait to get something up. I'm super glad I did, I feel on the path to recovery! Haha. Bye for now!
Alla prossima, until next time!
No but in all seriousness, I do have a lot of feelings. I sort of feel like that one chick in Mean Girls that just wants to bake cakes and all that. At times I feel incompetent, like I have no business in grad school, others I feel guilty for being here because I feel like I should be at home taking care of my family, and sometimes I feel totally great and just ecstatic about everything. It's really a roller coaster.
I'm totally thankful for this experience though, don't get me wrong. I love that I'm here, I'm so grateful that I am getting this opportunity, and I appreciate that someone saw something in me that I don't necessarily see in myself. (Emo, I know. Haha.) I think I just really need to start being on top of taking care of my whole self. I need to take better care to stay organized. I need to stay on top of my work load. I need to clean regularly and maintain my physical space. I need to work out. I need to take mental health nights and relax, shut down, and work on myself. I was doing really well with this at the end of my undergrad career, and for some reason I let that sort of go when I moved and started grad school. Just got to get myself back there.
Anyway, I think it's time for me to go to bed for now. It's late, I just felt like I really wanted to get started blogging again and I couldn't wait to get something up. I'm super glad I did, I feel on the path to recovery! Haha. Bye for now!
Alla prossima, until next time!
